Today is April Fools, but the stories to follow are completely, incredibly true.
I got ready early today, feeling fresh and ready to take on this Monday, without realizing that it wasn’t just an ordinary Monday.
It’s April Fools.
The instant I walked in the door, my nose was slapped with smell. It was a moldy, cat-litter smell that pervaded the office and first clued me in to the absurdity of the day. As I turned the corner, I saw the devastation creeping up on unsuspecting cubicles (reminiscent of The Blob).
Herein lies the downfall of having a flat roof and many feet of snow accumulation – the leak turned into a small flood that had us looking for an ark…or at least a canoe (and some noseplugs?).
Before I knew it, Service Master swooped in like the unsung hero to clean up the aftermath. Perhaps the reason they are unsung is that the machines are so loud no one can hear anyway. We continued on with our day, shouting over a noise akin to a helicopter landing, and trying to maintain a small degree of concentration.
It was in the midst of this chaos that my boss stormed out, returning with a blowtorch. A BLOWTORCH. I thought these types of shenanigans only happened on sitcoms. What did he need that for, you ask? Well it wasn’t toasting marshmallows, that’s for sure.
Instead, it was for this:
Understandably, I was amused beyond reason (WHY was no one filming this?!?). I sat at my desk, shaking with silent laughter, and also from the cold. The cold? Yes, the door (that is conveniently RIGHT in front of my desk) had to be propped open. In the dead of winter, at 10 degrees above zero. Yikes!
The best part about all this is that not a syllable was fabricated.
The real April Fools Joke? Having to stay at work and pretend to be oblivious to the noise, smell, and general devastation. Sheesh.