How AADHD Makes it Impossible to Live My Life.
FYI: This post has taken 3 weeks, so it’s really had time to marinate.
Most days, my brain runs away with me so fast, I lose focus on the present, like I’m in a speeding train where everything around me is a blur as I bounce from thought to thought. Does anyone else feel this way? Or know what AADHD is?
It’s pretty simple: Adult-ADHD.
I used to think I was the genius who made this up, and then Google told me it had been in existence for quite some time. In fact, I was just reading about celebrities who have this moniker (anything to distract me from actually completing a post). Recognize these?
It is comforting to know that such cool people manage to still be awesome with a ragingly distracted brain. I, on the other hand, haven’t mastered the brain-calm to be a star yet…or even be productive.
It’s getting worse for me. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve started posts, or even had one line of literary genius float through my head, only to be completely obliterated from my memory seconds later. Oh how I’ve wanted to write you about funny office-y things, or how God’s been working to re-awaken my heart, only to find my brain wandering off….
I make light of it now, but it is INCREDIBLY frustrating sometimes. I get more scattered and distracted as I get more hours at work, and less time to calm down and recharge. I’ve written before about how listless and apathetic I felt toward this blog (even though it was my own way to give outlet to my creative writing), and I realize it’s because I get overwhelmed by the sheer number of drafts I have saved. These half-thoughts that have long-since departed are like a graveyard of productivity, a testament to the fact that I can’t follow through on anything recently (or at least, that’s how it feels to me).
If anyone out there can relate even a little bit, I would be happy to know you – sometimes I feel like the only one whose mind is short-circuiting faster than the speed of light.