April’s Fool: “Flying Lies”Airports are not the greatest place to start a relationship, especially when you’re drunk.
I’d been planning a Phoenix trip to my uncle’s for weeks, desperate to get away from our brutal Minnesotan winter. March saw record-breaking numbers of days below zero degrees, and I was ready for sun!
I was set to leave on Friday, but winter storm reports from the weather channel spurred me into a last-minute flight out at noon on Thursday. Our airport completely shut down a few hours later – good thing I left when I did!
Minneapolis was in much the same state, with cancellations galore. I was bumped from practically every flight on my way to Phoenix, and now it was very late, with winter storm “Seneca” gaining serious ground.
It had been a long day of waiting.
Exhausted and incredulous at the state of the runways (planes were literally stranded in snowbanks!), I was ready for a distraction. Enter one “Inebriated Ike,” starring in:
The best airport soap opera ever recorded on Facebook.
I was drearily waiting to board the last possible flight out to Phoenix when I overheard something that became my favorite part of the day, by far.
It all started with this inebriated Ike fawning over a lovely blond woman, and working his charm on her. What followed was a drama of epic proportions, full of lies, betrayal, and drunken chivalry:
In the ultimate betrayal, 28A fled her seat as soon as she was certain 28B was unconscious, moving to an open seat with none other than Mr. 28A!
And so ends the tale of an ill-conceived, and ill-fated love, forever lost in regretful hangover memories.
Let this be a lesson to all of you: Like life, Love is better sober.