Golden Thread Goodbyes
“Better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all.”
Is it true? Love tends to intensify things, especially pain.
This introspection all started because of a move, and a movie. The move was the first time I uprooted from my beloved family and small town, and it was more difficult than I imagined.
I’ve built a life there, with those people who know me best, so when it came time to leave it all behind I was devastated.
The movie was unexpected. I chose it out of idleness, hoping to avoid the hurt of losing so many relationships, only to watch the loss of life in an achingly sad way, and wonder what I’d do if I lost a loved one, or if I was the loved one lost.
Grief clarifies things, and puts the bigger picture back in perspective.
That’s why I’ve been quiet about the Australia trip for a few days – it’s hard to write about Sunny Sydney when you are enjoying the bittersweet joy of realizing how much love you have in life, and how much more it hurts when it’s time to go.
I’m so beyond blessed to share in so many lives – to see God make beautiful cords out of tangled strings. He weaves our lives together in intricate, unextractable threads that can’t be broken over a lifetime.
Those lives are always with me. Their threads make something beautiful in my life, whether it was painful to tie them off or not.
The most precious times in my life have been crying with, or over, a friend who shared a struggle, simply because they trusted me enough to see their pain. In return, they let me share mine, easing both burdens simultaneously.
Those are the golden threads. God refined our lives into that precious commodity that has to be tested in fire because it doesn’t manifest itself in the coolness of “ordinary” life.
Those glimmers are always there though, right behind a smile or encouraging word, or a touch on the hand when words can’t be found. They’re in the goodbye that’s only temporary but feels eternal.
I see it in the cups of coffee with a couple who’s been together so many years they don’t need to speak at all to communicate. Those golden hours of connection that might otherwise be lost in our busy lives.
These golden moments make up our lives, but we look away too often, because they shine too brightly. Other times we miss them completely, because it takes time and effort to mine them out of the experiences of life.
Looking back at the short 25 years God’s blessed me with, I can honestly say I have no regrets, no pain too great to eclipse the beauty God made of it in my soul.
All those times I was hurt, or cried out for justice when I saw none, God later distilled into crystal walls of wonder stronger than any material I tried to build on my own.
Life is so heartbreaking, so imperfect and complicated, but God’s design is often something we only see with a backward glance. Only then can we comprehend the sheer perfection of his will.